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Is Couples Therapy Right For You? 8 Signs It’s Time To Seek Help

Picture of Dr. Timothy Yen
Dr. Timothy Yen

Dr. Timothy Yen is a licensed psychologist who has been living and working in the East Bay since 2014. He earned his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Azusa Pacific University, with a focus on Family Psychology and consultation. He has a private practice associated with the Eastside Christian Counseling Center in Dublin, CA. For 6.5 years, he worked at Kaiser Permanente, supervising postdoctoral residents and psychological associates since 2016. His journey began with over 8 years in the U.S. Army as a mental health specialist. He enjoys supportive people, superheroes, nature, aquariums, and volleyball.

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Relationships can be incredibly rewarding but also incredibly challenging. Every couple will face its share of ups and downs, but how do you know when it’s time to seek outside help? Couples therapy is often associated with couples on the verge of breaking up or getting divorced, but it can also be a proactive way to address small issues before they become larger, helping to strengthen the bond between partners. In this article, we’ll explore eight signs that couples therapy could be the right step for you and your partner.

1. Communication Breakdowns

Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, but when communication breaks down, it can lead to misunderstandings, frustrations, and feelings of being unheard. If you and your partner struggle to communicate openly and effectively, couples therapy may be necessary to help you develop the skills needed for clear and empathetic conversations.

Couples therapy provides a safe space where both partners can voice their concerns without fear of judgment. A therapist can help mediate these discussions, teaching both individuals how to actively listen and express their needs healthily and productively. When communication becomes toxic—whether through constant arguing, passive-aggressiveness, or complete silence—it’s time to seek help. Improving communication not only solves immediate conflicts but also strengthens the relationship’s long-term health.

Effective communication doesn’t always come naturally. It’s common for couples to get stuck in patterns of speaking past one another, or worse, avoiding critical conversations altogether. Therapy provides tools to break these unhealthy patterns and foster an environment of understanding, validation, and respect.

2. Frequent Arguments

It’s natural for couples to argue. Healthy disagreements can help partners understand each other’s perspectives better. However, if your arguments are frequent, intense, or unproductive, it could be a sign that deeper issues need to be addressed.

If every conversation feels like it’s leading to a fight, or if arguments often revolve around the same topics without resolution, it may be time to seek professional help. Constant conflict can wear down a relationship, leading to feelings of resentment and emotional exhaustion.

In therapy, couples can learn conflict resolution strategies that emphasize collaboration rather than competition. A therapist can guide you through identifying the root causes of recurring arguments and teach you how to approach disagreements without attacking or withdrawing from each other.

Frequent arguments may also indicate that certain emotional needs are not being met, and addressing these in therapy can help repair the underlying issues fueling the disputes.

3. Emotional Or Physical Distance

Feeling distant from your partner—whether emotionally or physically—is one of the most telling signs that your relationship might benefit from therapy. Sometimes, this distance develops gradually, with one or both partners withdrawing as a way to avoid conflict or vulnerability.

This emotional or physical disconnect can manifest in various ways: lack of meaningful conversation diminished physical affection, or a noticeable lack of interest in spending time together. In some cases, couples may feel more like roommates than romantic partners, leading to a sense of loneliness despite being in a relationship.

Couples therapy offers a space to rebuild this connection. It allows both partners to express their feelings of loneliness or neglect, often in ways they haven’t been able to on their own. A therapist can help foster emotional closeness by guiding you through exercises and conversations designed to rebuild intimacy and connection.

Physical intimacy is also closely tied to emotional closeness. Couples who feel emotionally distant often experience a decline in their physical relationship, which can further strain the bond. By addressing both emotional and physical distance in therapy, couples can begin to rekindle the affection and closeness that may have faded over time.

4. Loss Of Intimacy Or Passion

Many couples go through phases where their sexual relationship ebbs and flows. However, a prolonged loss of intimacy or passion may be an indication of a deeper issue. This could stem from unresolved emotional conflicts, stress, or dissatisfaction in other areas of the relationship.

While it’s natural for the intensity of a relationship’s passion to change over time, completely losing the desire for physical closeness or intimacy can create feelings of rejection or insecurity. When one or both partners feel neglected in this area, it can damage the overall relationship and contribute to feelings of isolation.

Couples therapy can help partners explore the reasons behind the decline in intimacy and offer strategies to reignite passion and connection. Often, couples find that addressing emotional issues helps to restore physical closeness as well. A therapist can also guide you through conversations about your individual needs and expectations in your sexual relationship, helping to bridge any gaps in understanding.

5. Trust Issues And Betrayals

Trust is a critical element of any healthy relationship. Whether due to infidelity, dishonesty, or broken promises, breaches of trust can create lasting damage that is difficult to repair without professional help. When trust is broken, it can lead to constant suspicion, anxiety, or fear in the relationship.

If you or your partner are dealing with trust issues, whether they stem from infidelity or other betrayals, couples therapy can provide a structured environment to rebuild trust and security. A therapist can help the partner who was hurt express their pain and concerns while also assisting the other partner in taking responsibility and making amends.

Restoring trust is a delicate process, and therapy offers the necessary tools to facilitate honest communication and accountability. It also helps couples work through the emotions that arise from betrayal, such as anger, guilt, and sadness. With time, couples can rebuild trust, but it requires effort and commitment from both partners.

6. Different Future Goals

As couples grow and evolve, their goals and aspirations may change. While some differences can be navigated with compromise, others may feel like dealbreakers. If you and your partner have different visions for the future—whether it’s related to career, family planning, or lifestyle—these differences can create tension and uncertainty in the relationship.

For example, one partner may want to start a family, while the other isn’t ready for children. Or, perhaps one partner is focused on advancing their career, while the other values work-life balance. These types of differences can lead to frustration and resentment if not addressed openly and respectfully.

Couples therapy provides a space for partners to discuss their future goals and explore whether their visions can align or if compromises are possible. A therapist can guide these conversations, helping both partners understand each other’s perspectives and find solutions that honor both individual and shared goals.

Understanding each other’s priorities can lead to a stronger, more united relationship. It’s important to remember that while some differences are inevitable, therapy can help couples navigate them with empathy and mutual respect.

7. Conflicts Or Resentments

Holding onto past grievances can poison a relationship. When conflicts go unresolved, they can fester and lead to long-term resentment. Over time, these unresolved issues can become the lens through which partners view each other, causing tension even in unrelated aspects of the relationship.

Couples who struggle with unresolved conflicts often find themselves bringing up past issues in new arguments, making it difficult to move forward. This cycle of resentment can lead to emotional distance and a lack of trust between partners.

Couples therapy offers a structured approach to addressing unresolved conflicts. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of these issues and work towards resolution, allowing both partners to let go of past hurts and rebuild their relationship from a place of understanding and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a key component of moving forward, and therapy can help couples navigate this challenging process. By addressing unresolved conflicts, couples can begin to rebuild trust and emotional intimacy, paving the way for a healthier, happier relationship.

8. Lack Of Problem-Solving Skills

No relationship is without its challenges, but successful couples know how to work through problems together. If you and your partner struggle to resolve conflicts or make decisions as a team, it may be time to seek help. Whether it’s small issues like household responsibilities or larger decisions like finances, the inability to problem-solve effectively can lead to frustration and feelings of helplessness.

Couples therapy can equip you with the tools needed to approach problems collaboratively rather than competitively. A therapist can help you identify unhealthy patterns in how you approach decision-making and offer strategies for working together as a team.

Learning to navigate challenges as a united front can strengthen the bond between partners and reduce feelings of isolation or resentment. By improving problem-solving skills, couples can tackle future challenges with confidence and cooperation.

Conclusion

If any of these eight signs resonate with you and your partner, couples therapy could be a valuable resource in strengthening your relationship. Whether you’re dealing with communication breakdowns, trust issues, or a loss of intimacy, therapy offers a safe, supportive environment to explore your concerns and work toward solutions.

Remember, seeking help doesn’t mean your relationship is failing—it’s a proactive step toward improving the health and longevity of your partnership. Couples therapy can help you and your partner develop the skills needed to navigate challenges, deepen your emotional connection, and create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship for the future.

Unlock Your Relationship Success With Couples Therapy At Pivot Counseling

Are you struggling to navigate challenges in your relationship and looking for effective ways to strengthen your connection? You’re not alone, and we’re here to help! At Pivot Counseling, our team of compassionate and knowledgeable professionals is dedicated to supporting you through personalized couples therapy, ensuring you find the right approach to enhance your relationship and improve your quality of life together.

Whether you’re seeking to improve communication, manage conflicts, or navigate daily challenges more effectively, we offer an evidence-based approach tailored to your specific relationship needs. Imagine experiencing greater understanding, emotional balance, and a deeper connection with your partner. Our experts are committed to guiding you through this transformative journey, providing the tools and strategies needed for long-term success.

Why wait to take control of your relationship? Contact us today to schedule a couples therapy session at Pivot Counseling and explore the options that best suit your needs. Let us help you achieve greater emotional well-being, stronger communication, and a happier future together. Your brighter relationship starts today!

Disclaimer: 

The information on this website is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified health provider with any questions regarding a medical condition. Pivot Counseling makes no warranties about the accuracy, reliability, or completeness of the information on this site. Any reliance you place on such information is strictly at your own risk. Licensed professionals provide services, but individual results may vary. In no event will Pivot Counseling be liable for any damages arising out of or in connection with the use of this website. By using this website, you agree to these terms. For specific concerns, please contact us directly.